It's my birthday, 🎉

And for the first time, I'm speechless. 🥹

I've thought of a million ways to write this letter (okay, I'm exaggerating, but you get the point), and somehow, it feels like I just can't find THE words. But as a writer training herself to be disciplined and consistent, I must write.

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You see, the Holy Spirit and I have gone back in time a lot of recent. I was in the shower some few days ago when He reminded me of a letter I shared here about 6 months ago, lamenting that my life was over, and I laughed. (You can read the letter here) The Holy Spirit does have a sense of humour because what the heck! 🤣 Thank goodness it was between me and Him, lol. I would have cringed so hard. But that's not the point.

The point is this—God has been carrying me.

I'm reminded of Jude 24—one of the most comforting verses of Scripture each time anxiety wants to kick in. Especially anxiety regarding my relationship with God.

"Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy." — Jude 24 (KJV)

When I see and hear people talk about how long they've been walking with the Lord, sometimes I'm afraid. What if something happens? What if this? What if that?

But this Scripture reminds me that He's the one doing the carrying, not me. I just have to show up—today, tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that—until I see Him face to face. After all, what can separate me from the love of Christ? Absolutely NOTHING!

Another thing that makes today really emotional for me is the fact that three years ago, I didn't exactly know where my life was headed. Because of certain circumstances, my life had taken a drastic turn, and for the first time, I didn't know what was going to happen. It was so scary and confusing all the same.

I remember praying every day and just asking the Lord to help me because my life didn't seem to be lifing. Time was just passing by, and it seemed like nothing was happening.

But you see this God? He's such a storyteller. The absolute best at that!

I was telling my sister today that I couldn't have written a better story than the one He did. I've seen my life turn around for the best in just three years, and I look back and wonder—wow, is this me? Is this real? Is this really it?

I can't explain it, but this line from one of my fave songs, Yaweh (Godiya Gareka) puts it so beautifully:

"You've been good to me, yeah,

It shows in our history, God.

I can't help but give You praise!"

God has been so, so good to me. He really has. When I go through my gratitude journal, I see proof. Little pockets of happiness that remind me that life is beautiful, the amazing people in my corner, the gift that writing is, unprayed answers, answered prayers that exceeded my expectations... name it!

Surely, there have been lows. But even in my lowest valley, He's been there. On days I wanted to push even Him away, He found ways to let me know that He's not going anywhere.

What kind of God factors in my frailties and insecurities, yet loves me wholeheartedly?

This God.

And I know that this is NOT the end. In fact, it's only just the beginning. God is still writing my story, and there are many more pages to turn.

Happy Birthday to me! 🥳🎉

This is 21—the bloom year. 🌸💕